Jokes

I saw these jokes and I just had to save some of on my blog:
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Buddha walks into a pizza joint and says, "Make me one with everything."Cashier: "That'll be $9.50"
Buddha hands him a ten. Waits. Waits. He says, "Where's my change?"
Cashier replies, "Change must come from within"
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Q. Why can't the Buddha vacuum in the corner?
A. Because he has no attatchments.
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Q. Where does George W. Bush keep his army?
A. Up his sleevie.
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Q. How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas?
A. He felt his presents.
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Did you hear about the guy who had to quit his job at the orange juice factory? ...He wasn't able to concentrate.
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A boat carrying blue paint and a boat carrying red paint collided in the middle of the ocean. What happened to the crew?
They were marooned.
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Q. Someone that knows three languages is trilingual. Someone that knows two languages is bilingual.
So what do you call someone that only knows one language?
A. An American.
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A termite walks into a bar and says:
Is the bar tender here?
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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
THAT'S NOT FUNNY!
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A baby harp seal walks into a club...
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Q. how many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. I dunno... what do YOU think?
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Q. What do you call someone with no talent who hangs around with a band?
A. A singer.
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Q. What?s the difference between Brittany Spears and the Panama Canal?
A. The Panama Canal is nothing but a busy ditch.
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Q: When is it bedtime at Michael Jackson's place?
A: When the big hand touches the little hand.
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He told you he was "Off the Wall", that he was a "Thriller", that he was "Bad" and that he was "Dangerous". Next album will be called "Don't say I didn't warn you."
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Q: What's the difference between the Vietnam War and the Iraq War?
A: George W. Bush had a plan to get out of the Vietnam War

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